10 % of me is gone

As of this past Wednesday I have lost 10% of me. If you find it I don't want it back. That is 30lbs. That is cool, but I will tell you the lifestyle change is tough. I have found out the lifestyle change involves more than eating and exercising changes. It involves emotional and mental changes also. I have struggled with my old fr enemy depression more the past week or so than I have for awhile. I am not sure what is going on. I feel restless or lonely or something. Maybe I need to get away for awhile, but where to go and how to get there? I have been trying to find someone to hang out with as in a male type person, but haven't had much luck. Then I think I am having luck and then either because I want more than a booty call or he saw my pic of my weight loss on FB stopped hearing from him. I know, I know he is that shallow and he isn't worth it. I know that, but it is disappointing and it hurts to be rejected by anyone. Then I get pissed off at myself for not heeding the red flags. Did you know that the human species is the only species that does not pay attention to the gut instinct? Then I have to ask myself I am I losing weight for me or to get that male? I really believe it is for me. Losing weight is like making changes anywhere else it has to be for the person not for anyone else.
However, even though I have been struggling with the down moods I have seemed more content. Does that make sense? More content at home and more content with who I am.
I think I am going to stop trying to find the elusive male. Lord knows I haven't ever tried real hard anyway. I just want to be somebody special to someone. Oh eee gads, I am beginning to sound all sappy. See there it is that feeling again not knowing what it is I am feeling. Is restlessness-what for? Loneliness-who for? Burned out-from what? I don't know, I don't know and I don't know.
Of course, it could be the change thing I am freaking about. I think I have talked about my dislike of change positive or negative. Could be that I am attempting to get out of my comfort zone some and that is freaking me out. I believe that could be it. I have been taking steps to improve myself, which I have been successful at. I have taken steps to find a male person in my life, which is something different for me. At least I am stepping in that direction. I don't know. This I do know I have lost 30 lbs accept it enjoy it and concentrate on the next 10% 28lbs. Things have a way of working out if we just let them. I feel like I should have posted here sooner I feel better.
Please don't feel sorry for me and try to set me up with anyone. Well, if they have a lot of money I will consider.