Today was weigh in day. I knew that it would happen sooner or later, of course I was hoping later, but I had a gain of OVER a pound. One point 4 to be exact. However, I knew it was coming because you cannot eat the way I have been for the past week and not gain weight. My birthday was last Thursday so that started out as an excuse, but then by Sunday I was still going. Sunday I literally made myself sick because I ate too much. We used to have a pony that would founder because he would eat and eat and eat. Just call me Ole Smokey. I guess in a way I did find out that I can't each as much as I use to, but then again I found out that those old habits are still there waiting to bite me in the butt, or add fat to my butt.
We started a new 13 week block of Weight Watchers at work today so I am starting out fresh. For some reason the way my mind is wired it makes since for me to start again this way. I have set my goal again this time as 5% which with rounding and all will be the same as last time, 15lbs. Remember though I have already lost the origigal 5% and for that I am glad. I only have 9 more lbs. to post another pic.
I am concerned that this time around is going to be more difficult for me. I am not sure why. Probably because I know how those old habits work with me, and that stick to itness. But those are old thoughts and old voices talking. That is the biggest roadblock for me, the old me talking. How quickly it knows when to come out. Urrrrr go away go away!!!! Oh gosh now I am sounding like my patients. lol. I am sure you know what I mean though. A woman was sharing with me today about her alcoholism. She spoke about the struggles she has had with the depression and everything else that comes with alcoholism. She spoke about not being able to love herself, and having a wall around with no one able to really get in. I was able to list all of the feelings she had experienced with low/no self esteem. Goodness I am so happy, joyous, jubilant those feelings are not around. I can't say they don't surface every now and then, but they don't hang out long. I know with my weight and my journey to be healthy there is more at stake than physical it is the mental and emotional as well. I know I have come a long way mentally and emotionally, but I know I can have more when the physical catches up. It will. I am a firm believer that everything happens when and how it is supposed to and when we are ready.
I am sure I will have to come back and read this post many times.
